September 11, 2003
What's The Point?
So after 3 years, I've found myself single again. I'm not going into the past with this one, but what's next? I've had enough time to evaluate what's gone wrong, and where things should have changed. I'm over it. Falling for another dude's not really something I want much nowadays. They're too much trouble. Girls aren't any better. They come with the same problems and dramas, only there's the whole fertile uterus thing to deal with.
ANYWAY...
It's kinda like in that movie Unbreakable. Bruce Willis is this person who can sense bad things happening, and he stands in a crowd with his palms out letting everyone bump past him. He gets a feeling about someone with some bad intentions. I feel like him sometimes, just standing in a crowd, occasionally sparking with people I pass, and letting the rest go on in a blur.
I really don't blame anyone for not wanting to open themselves up to love again. Usually what happens is we end up hurting each other. I guess it's natural when we thrive off each other's energy. Learning to tap into your own energy is when you don't need to use other's. Unfortunately, people try to be a couple when they're not ready. Sometimes, there's just something better out there that you need to find.
Love is real, but very rare. It's not something you should shun, or turn off. It's not something you should look for, either. When you're standing in that crowd, and you feel that spark as someone passes by, by all means, check it out. It could lead to an interesting coffee conversation, or a lifetime of memories. If you turned it off, you wouldn't have either one.
"What about love? All you need is love. Love lift's you up."
-Something along those lines, what Ewen McGregor in Moulin Rouge said.